“קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכָּל הָאֱמֶת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ כִּי בְמַקְלִי עָבַרְתִּי אֶת הַיַּרְדֵּן הַזֶּה וְעַתָּה הָיִיתִי לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת”
“הַצִּילֵנִי נָא מִיַּד אָחִי, מִיַּד עֵשָׂו: כִּי-יָרֵא אָנֹכִי, אֹתוֹ–פֶּן-יָבוֹא וְהִכַּנִי, אֵם עַל-בָּנִים”
“I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have became two camps”
“Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children.”
Jacob humbled himself before God when saying, ‘I am unworthy…’. He knew that God’s promises are conditional and based on the merits of his actions. He didn’t feel that he deserves any rewards from God. Jacob sees God’s kindness as gifts, not as entitlements. When he run away from Esau that wanted to kill him, God helped him pass the Jordan river alone and now he wants to cross the river with two camps.
So Jacob started his prayer by praising God for his kindness and mercy. Then he made his wish for protection, ‘Please deliver me from the hand of my brother’.
Even though was righteous, he didn’t feel entitled. God’s promises are potential light that would come into our vessel if our vessel is ready for it. Many people pray seriously but they don’t get fulfilled. The reason is that even though God wants to fulfill their wishes, they don’t have the proper and pure vessel for it.
Daily Zohar # 2896 – Vayishlach – I am unworthy