Daily Zohar # 1496 – Kedoshim – How to know your wife?
27. אִישׁ אִמּוֹ, מָה הַטַּעַם הִקְדִּים אִמּוֹ לְאָבִיו בַּיִּרְאָה? כְּמוֹ שֶׁבֵּאֲרוּהָ. אֲבָל הָאֵם שֶׁאֵין רְשׁוּת בְּיָדֶיהָ כָּל כָּךְ כְּמוֹ אָבִיו, (אֲבָל בֹּא רְאֵה, אִמּוֹ – זוֹ כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, וּמִשּׁוּם שֶׁבָּהּ שׁוֹרָה הַיִּרְאָה וְהִיא נִקְרֵאת יִרְאַת ה’) הִקְדִּים אֶת יִרְאָתָהּ.
28. רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר, מַה כָּתוּב לְמַעְלָה? קְדֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ. בָּא אָדָם לְהִתְקַדֵּשׁ עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ כְּאֶחָד, מִמִּי הוּא יוֹתֵר שֶׁבַח בְּאוֹתָהּ קְדֻשָּׁה? הֱוֵה אוֹמֵר מֵהַנְּקֵבָה. מִשּׁוּם כָּךְ אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ.
29. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אָמַר, אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ, כְּגוֹן זֶה (בראשית ב) בְּיוֹם עֲשׂוֹת ה’ אֱלֹהִים אֶרֶץ וְשָׁמָיִם. וּבְמָקוֹם אַחֵר הִקְדִּים שָׁמַיִם לָאָרֶץ. אֶלָּא לְהַרְאוֹת שֶׁשְּׁנֵיהֶם כְּאֶחָד נַעֲשׂוּ. אַף כָּאן הִקְדִּים אֵם לְאָב, וּבְמָקוֹם אַחֵר הִקְדִּים אָב לְאֵם, לְהַרְאוֹת שֶׁשְּׁנֵיהֶם כְּאֶחָד הִשְׁתַּדְּלוּ בוֹ.
“אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ, וְאֶת-שַׁבְּתֹתַי תִּשְׁמֹרוּ: אֲנִי, יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם”
“Every one of you shall reverence (also ‘with awe’) his mother and his father, and you shall keep My sabbaths; I am YHVH your God.”
The Zohar asks why the mother’s name precedes the father. The question is valid because spiritually, man, male energy, connects first to the light because he is a channel. The woman is a vessel and receives the light drawn by the man.
She gets the awe of every man because she is what completes the holiness with unification and oneness. Without his wife a man cannot have holiness. Like the Shabbat gives us the holiness of the week so does the woman when unifying in holiness with her husband.
“ אֵלֶּה תוֹלְדוֹת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְהָאָרֶץ, בְּהִבָּרְאָם: בְּיוֹם, עֲשׂוֹת יְהוָה אֱלֹהִים–אֶרֶץ וְשָׁמָיִם”
“This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made earth and heaven.”
The Zohar quotes the above verse that mention heaven (male) and earth (female) the earth and heavens to teach us that even though male is a channel and draw the light first, the female part is equally important and should have the deserved awe and honor.
Best time for a husband and wife to have unification is on Friday night. This is when the Shabbat is Malchut in unification with Zeir Anpin. During Kabbalat Shabbat we turn to the west, which is Yessod and the connection to Zeir Anpin and invite Malchut with Boi Kalah (welcoming the bride).
The Secret is when saying the three times for right left and center is; Right is Chokmah, which represents the father. Left is Binah and represents the mother. The center is the result of the unifications, which is Da’at. Da’at means ‘knowledge’ as in and Adam ‘knew’ Eve. Da’at is the Sefirah that forms when Chokmah and Binah are in unification. In the body it activates the creation of life energy that travels from the midbrain through the spine and shoots out from the penis that is the aspect of Yessod.
Knowing this spiritual system helps a couple to enhance their connection and the spiritual energy of the sperms and the vessel. Even if the couple beyond the age of having children this knowledge and meditation bring greater value of binding the energy of the couple together. It gives them oneness and holiness.
The title of this article gives the ‘knowing’ assignment to the man but, as we learned above, both share the responsibility for the holy connection between them.