Daily Zohar – Tikunim – # 993 – Three steps before considering a divorce
Click here to listen to the Daily Zohar [audio:https://dailyzohar.com/wp-content/uploads/audio/dz993.mp3|titles=Daily Zohar 993]
Tikkun 70 – 98
A person may come to this life with a correction related to his faith and connection to the light. He may turn righteous but may be married to a woman that challenges his faith and gives him hard time following the right path.
Rabbi Elazar asks his father how this person can correct his relationship with his wife. Rabbi Shimon answers that he should try three changes in his life.
1. Move to a new place that would make her happy because sometimes the social environment creates an energy that affects the relationship.
2. Changing her name. With that she will get a renewed soul that could give her better understanding and appreciation of the spiritual work of her husband.
3. Change his actions. Treat his wife with love and respect to affect positive change in her.
Job 33:29 “הֶן-כָּל-אֵלֶּה, יִפְעַל-אֵל– פַּעֲמַיִם שָׁלוֹשׁ עִם-גָּבֶר. ”
“Lo, all these things doth God work, twice, yea thrice, with a man, ”
Rabbi Shimon quotes this verse and says that God does these steps for us during the correction process.
If these three won’t bring the couple together on the same path, then the man should protect himself from falling by divorcing his wife and marrying one that will help him build a better vessel for the light.
The three step process is a serious thing and men should not look for a quick excuse to get a divorce because it is allowed. The Tikkun process may take a person into a difficult and challenging relationship. The man is the one responsible to bring the light home and the woman to manifest it. The man should make great efforts to resolve all issues and to bring peace and unity between them. Only after he exhausts all three methods of change, it is considered completing a Tikkun with his wife and then he may write a bill of divorce.
The rule is that the man does the action of hand writing the divorce because it is his responsibility and his Tikkun. Nowadays, men appoint qualified scribes to do the task on their behalf.
A woman who is married to a man that is far from the light should create a vessel for him to desire the light and give him opportunities to prove himself as a proper channel for her and the family. She has the power of manifestation and can determine the direction of the relationship. If the man is ‘impotent’, meaning unable to channel the light, then she may consider a divorce but if they have children together, then it is already a manifestation of light and she can not ask for a divorce without considering the wellness and stability of the children.
Money and material success of the family should never be an issue for divorce. We should always be happy with what we get in life and focus on the soul and spiritual connections. The sages taught us that this life is only a corridor to the palace of the great king. If the soul is pure, then it can go into the inner and great rooms of the palace because the king doesn’t care about gold or the type of fabric on the skin.